New Directions!? More like The Wrong Directions! Want a better name for your glee club that shows up all the other kids (especially those really awesome, or uhh… entitled kids on Glee)? Mission Ctrl has got you covered! Get a seriously Glee-tastic new name for your glee club that speaks to your club’s urban roots, represents your fully inclusive glee club just right, or maybe shows off your awesome Aussie ways! Forget New Directions, The Troubletones, and The Warblers! Your glee club will have the hottest name ever!
Comments
HOST
Hey! Glee fans! When’s the last time you remembered the name of a Glee club that didn’t have a memorable name? That’s right! Exactly. What?
Hi. I’m another one of those tools from Mission CTRL. You might remember me from if we ever met.
Now, Mission CTRL is know for making mediocre comedy, but there’s one thing we don’t joke about. And that thing is creating great Glee club names. See, we haven’t patented a highly-innovative and somewhat-secretive process we call General Creativity – because we know that when you’re on stage at state sectionals the last thing you want to be thinking about it is just how ineffective your glee club name is.
Cut to shot of someone about to sing at mic. Paralyzed with thought of ineffectual Glee club name.
Wanna see our credentials? Mission CTRL independently came up with the Glee club names currently used on Glee: New Directions and the Treble Tones. Sure – there’s no proof and we were laughed out of court. But they wouldn’t have been laughing if they had taken 30 seconds to check out these testimonials.
Cut to testimonials.
TESTIMONIAL #1
Hi Mission CTRL, I’m starting a Glee Club at my school and we need a name that’s as unique as every single one of us. But still musical, of course. We’re totally stuck!
MISSION CTRL
How about The NOTEFlakes?
Snowflake graphic.
TESTIMONAL #2
Our all-male Glee Club is is called The Musical Creators. I think we can do better.
MISSION CTRL
Bass of Spades!
TESTIMONIAL #3
Mission CTRL, our glee club is made up of students from all walks of life. We want a name that’s inclusive… but still quite musical, of course.
MISSION CTRL
No Child Cleft Behind!
TESTIMONIAL #4
We want a glee club name that says just how fun we are.
HOST
The Virgin Daiquiris! Goes down easy – and you can drive afterwards!
TESTIMONIAL #5
Me and my boyz are in the glee club at Oscar De La Hoya Technical Middle School – we need a name that won’t betray our urban roots.
HOST
The Tone Locs!
TESTIMONIAL #1
Our glee club coach just overdosed on valuum!
HOST
In Loving Melody!
TESTIMONIAL #1
We started a Katy Perry tribute glee club at our all-girl Catholic school but we don’t want people to think that makes us impure!
HOST
The Tonal Virgins!
TESTIMONIAL #3
We’re a glee club in Australia and -
HoST
The Chor-al Reefs! The Jams Down Under! The Kangaroom Tones!
HOST
Listen to these other club names we’ve consulted! The Note-ary Publics! Note by Notewest! Songcology! The B Minor-ities! E Sharp Pluribus Unum! Gleem Me Up Scotty – I could go on!
HOST
Our Glee Club names have appeared on hit television shows like American Idol, X Factor, The Voice, The Biggest Singer, Sing or Die, One of Us Has to be Able to Sing Can’t They?, 2009 Ontario Karaoke Championships in 2009 in Ontario, Eat It Up and Sing It Out, So You Think You’re Done Singing Do You?, and Carpe Diva.
HOST
Listen, Gleeks – we’re not just talking about success at this years’ sectionals – we’re talking monetization. We’ll turn your harmonies into har-Money signs!
Graphic of Musical Notes and Dollar Signs raining on screen. (Notes turning INTO dollars?)
HOST
After hearing all that – and being totally sick of THIS:
Cut to same shot of someone about to sing at mic. Fear.
…Can you really afford to NOT to have your glee club named by us?
Prices appear on screen. They are either exorbitant or reallllly cheap ($3 or best offer).
HOST
Visit us on the web at our easy-to-remember website:
Whatsthenameofthatwebsiteagain.com.
No question mark in that address – because we only have answers!
Get in touch with us now to reserve your totally unique glee club name – or sing in obscurity forever. We guaranglee you’ll gleeve happy!
